The Power of One

by Roberta M. Gilbert M.D., Psychiatrist, Founding Director of the Center for the Study of Human Systems, Falls Church, USA

The following paper was delivered at the XIII Mut zur Ethik Conference in Feldkirch, Austria in September, 2005

I am a psychiatrist with a special interest in family systems theory. Several years ago, at the request of a major denomination in my state, I began a leadership training program for clergy. Through the years it has been gratefully received and has grown. There are now two to four sections of the seminar going on at all times and it includes all denominations and three faiths. I understand that people do not go to church in Europe but some still do in the U.S. So I see the clergy as an important and influential leadership segment of our society. Working closely with them is a true privilege.

What do we need to do to get to more peace in the world?

Dr. Karl Menninger, perhaps America’s most famous psychiatrist, had an opinion about this. He suggested in a book that was a series of lectures to clergy about the problems of society, “Why don’t we just outlaw war? We outlawed cannibalism.” I too have been thinking about the problem of war, and for a long time. Dr. Menninger’s question keeps coming back to me. Why can’t we outlaw war? I don’t know the answer.

We have had a great deal of success in family systems theory in working with families. Before working in this way, I had a great deal more divorces in my practice than I have since. When “warring” families start working with family systems theory they can most often find a way out of their conflict. I cannot remember the last time I had a family in my practice go on to divorce. So I have often wondered if the same principles we use with families would be successful for negotiators in trying to resolve international conflicts. That has yet to be tested so I still wonder if these ideas would apply in this arena.

One thing I have come to be rather sure of, though, is that part of leadership is the ability to take a stand. Like the Mut zur Ethik conference, family systems theory teaches that taking a stand is actually a part of emotional maturity for anyone. We know of many people in history who, by taking a stand, have changed the course of events for good. Could this type of emotionally mature leadership help move society beyond a war and toward peace? It may be.

At any rate, the following are a few people from history and some from contemporary times, who illustrate clearly the effect on society of taking a stand. Two giants of history who have been most instructive in the clergy seminars are John Wesley and Increase Mather. The other stories will follow those two.

John Wesley

The first example is John Wesley. He lived in a time in England, during the 1700’s, when society was in deep regression. It was barely safe to walk the streets. Substance abuse was rampant. The prisons were overflowing. Child and female labor was abusively exploited.

Wesley began preaching in public, following the example of his friend and mentor, Whitefield. He organized prayer and study groups, based on his well thought-through principles, taken from the Bible and Christian ideas and ideals. The “Great Awakening” swept across England.

The effect upon society was striking. The streets became safe, substance abuse was no longer a society-wide problem, the prisons emptied out, slavery was abolished and child and female labor laws were enacted.

In America, the Great Awakening spawned many of the Ivy League and other universities (100 of them) for the purpose of training men to propagate the Christian faith. Many other movements began at that time, including, after the Second and Third Great Awakenings that followed, the missionary movement, the Salvation Army, the Red Cross, the Sunday School movement, YMCA, and women’s suffrage. The anti-slavery movement also began at this time.

Some have estimated that, but for the phenomenon of Wesley, and his triggering of the Great Awakening, leading people to more orderly, moral and peace-loving living, England was facing a revolution that would have been as bloody as the French Revolution had been.

But sometimes, it is not enough to simply take a stand according to what one believes in. Sometimes it is necessary to stand tall and say “No, no, no! This must stop!” Increase Mather was such a person.

Increase Mather

Increase Mather was another minister who made a difference in the society of his times. He was the father of the famous preacher Cotton Mather and president of Harvard University and lived during the infamous Salem witch hunts, in the mid 1600’s. At the time he took his stand, the witch hysteria had involved the imprisonment of dozens of people and the execution of 19 men and women. One was a man of over eighty years, (because he refused to submit to a trial on witchcraft charges). Two dogs were even executed as accomplices. Increase Mather talked to many people, including prisoners, families, judges and others. He became convinced that these events were groundless and must cease. He wrote “Cases of Conscience Concerning Evil Spirits,” denouncing the flimsy type of evidence (“spectral” evidence – the way a finger pointed or someone’s casual accusation) that was being used to condemn people in the trials. He called all the clergy of Boston together and took his stand, “It were better that ten suspected witches should escape than that one innocent person should be condemned.” Soon after this, the Salem witch hunts came to a close. This closed a chapter on one of America’s most shameful societal episodes.

We find in training clergy in leadership, that they need to learn to take a stand clearly for what they believe, though not demanding that anyone else believe the same. At the same time, when others or the group as a whole are being hurt, we have seen many instances where they most definitely had to take a stand against immature, irresponsible behavior. Here the image of a parent with a teenage or younger child is useful. It is only a weak or immature parent who is afraid to say “No!” on occasion.

There are also some people from our own times who have provided powerful and useful examples.

The Polish Mayor

A few years ago, at the Mut zur Ethik conference, the author was privileged to meet and hear the story of the mayor of a Polish town. He had been approached by adult organizers of a “rave.” They wanted permission to parade through town with the young people of the town. The parade, all knew, would culminate in a week or more of the teens “raving” on the illegal drug, ecstasy.

The mayor said, “No! I saw this event last year. I am responsible for these young people and while I am mayor it will never happen in my town!”

He then called the young people together and organized them for the purpose of raising funds for the local hospital. Meeting the mayor and the youth here was an unforgettable privilege. The teenagers obviously had had a lot more fun in the constructive activity of fund-raising than they would have had in the destructive one of a drug-induced frenzy.

The Soldier at Abu Ghraib

One also thinks of the soldier who slipped a piece of paper under an officer’s door, exposing the abuses going on at the Abu Ghraib prison in Iraq. This one courageous act blew the lid off another dark chapter of the history of the U.S., bringing it to an end. Now we are told that an FBI agent has found similar courage, exposing abuses occurring at the Guantanamo prison.

Our Friend in Indiana

A friend told us of his own experience some time ago. The town where he lives in Indiana was infamous for its illegal drug production laboratory. He called the local drug enforcement agency (his brother-in-law happened to be a part of it). He asked to have the laboratory taken out. They assured him it would happen. Weeks went by without action.

He called again, again asking for action against the lab. Again, he was assured. But nothing happened.

The third time he called, he threatened, “If you don’t take this lab out, I will!” His brother-in-law knew that the man had been trained in the special armed forces and was capable of doing what he said he would. The lab was raided and put out of commission in short order.

At Mut zur Ethik, many, many examples like these can be cited. They serve to inspire the rest of us to look for opportunities to make our world a place that is more welcoming of peace.

Another effort

In addition to working toward empowering the clergy, I was able to be involved in another step toward peace recently. It was most inspiring to me to have the wonderful opportunity to teach in the Eastern Mennonite University’s Summer Peace Institute. This event is a part of the Conflict Transformation Department of the University. The department as well as the Summer Peace Institute are known all over the world as being of the highest quality. As such, the Summer Peace Institute is attended by many Fullbright Scholars as well as other scholars from many of the countries of the world. It was a privilege to teach there what we have learned about the functioning of that microcosm of human society, the human family.

Will what we have learned about how families get stuck into emotionally-based patterns and regressions ever be useful to understanding conflict – even war – in the wider world? Can these principles, so useful to helping families and organizations step up in their functioning, eventually be used for the promotion of peace in the world? One can only hope that to be the case.